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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Saturday February 24, 2007

First Blog... Now what? Why am I writing this blog? For what purpose? What do I hope to gain from this?

I have kept many journals in the past, but I usually write them for the wrong reason. I write them knowing that my children or family might read them. I am honest in my journals but not real self reflective. I am hoping that through my blogs I can be reflective and positive and really help to keep my life going in the direction that I want it to go. I want my life to have purpose and meaning to others as well as myself, but I know that I am the one in charge. I make the decisions and choices I make for me and what's best for me.

So... why do I make so many decisions and choices that I regret? How can I learn from these and start making better choices? How can I enjoy what I've been given and make the best out of what I have? How can I change those things that I see negatively into a postive? How can I start looking at things as half full instead of half empty? How can I become more of an optimist rather than a pessimist? How can I "get over" obsessive behaviors?

I know that it must come from within. I need to start appreciating myself as much as I appreciate others. I often expect others to give me the praise and acknowledgement that I must first give myself. I have a hard time tooting my own horn, but I am going to start tooting my own horn right here in this blog and in the ones to follow. Being both honest and reflective.

Life Accomplishments (after high school)

My daughter Whitney Luisa Simoneti born: March 14, 1995
My son Benjamin Lolohea Simoneti born: October 9,1998

***I am an AWESOME mother. I often don't give myself credit for this. I criticize myself especially for having them at such a young age. But... I am a great mother. I work hard and do so many great things for my kids. I have really committed myself to being a good mother, because this is it! This is my posterity. My only 2 kids. I want my kids to have the best life possible no matter what way they came into this world. And so far... I think I have done an incredible job. My kids are so many things but some of them are: kind, smart, honest, healthy, athletic, hard-working (most of the time) and a variety of other things. I know that many of these qualities are because of me.

My B.S. degree from Weber State University in Elementary Education

I am very proud of mself for graduating from college as a single mom. Again I don't give myself enough credit for this. I was living at home with my mom, and she helped me out a lot. But... I did do it. I went to class earned my degree, worked part-time, and was a single mom as I completed this, and I am very proud of myself. I did work hard and earned this on my own.

Marriage to my husband Randall David Miller (Randy) June 23, 2002

This truly is the most amazing accomplishment so far in my life. Accomplishment probably isn't the right word, but this is the most profound and important thing that has happened in my life so far. I have found my best friend and life long partner. I sometimes don't think I deserve him, because he truly is that wonderful. I feel like my life has been so messed up and that I don't have a lot to offer. I know though that he loves me and that I am worthy of him. I am a truly unique person with many wonderful qualities to offer. I am a great wife. Of course, we all have our days, but I have to remind myself that I am a great wife.

I am going to end my first blog by leaving it unfinished. This is a big step in relaxing and just letting things be and enjoying the moment. I do love myself. I love my life. I am so blessed!

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